The Gambler’s Logic-It won’t happen to me! I can beat the odds!

It seems we all live with a "Gambler’s Logic" - bad things won’t happen to me - but good things will find a way. It is someone else that gets cancer - someone else that found bad luck - someone else with brain damage - another family with asthma (not mine). I will be the lucky one, who dies in my sleep of old age; the poor sap in the wheel chair (with some disease I can’t pronounce), just drew the wrong card in life’s poker game. We are not really sure why Stephen Hawkins’ nerves have shorted across their synaptic gaps (we may even think it has something to do with his intellect); we are not sure why the Catholic pope stumbles through his sermons (some twisted tort of god’s will, called Parkinson’s ); why Ronald Reagan and Michael J. Fox have more in common than we thought. One might even assess, that Christopher Reeves misfortune was the same bad luck- and it won’t happen to me; but there is a difference between chance, and circumstance. Most of us have reasoned that life is a risk, and nobody is getting out of its passage, alive. We trust that the masses are acting in the best interest of all, and that "if everyone else is doing it - it must be okay".

If something definable, was causing Cancer, Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson’s, Gulf war Syndrome (MCS), and numerous other crippling and deadly illness classifications; certainly someone would do something. If the chemicals in food, were really causing cancers; then everyone would have it - if pollution, casual toxins, and environmental exposures; were bad for us, everyone would be sick, and someone would do something about it. We are those people who are trying to get the message out! We have all heard of the individual who smoked three packs of cigarettes, and drank a quart of whisky, with his bacon and eggs; then lived to be a hundred and ten years old; everyone who abuses themselves, thinks they are that odd individual. What we don’t realize is that the odds are turning against us - it is not the cigarettes or booze that kill, but the "chemicals" released into our blood stream and lungs. One in three men will get prostate cancer, and the rate is similar for breast cancer; forty percent of the population is taking prescription drugs for some reason or another-and nobody ever asks WHY? Why are so many people sick. We (the MCS community) have a real good idea, but too few are listening. We have an illness that changes the neurological structure of our brain, making us extremely susceptible to minute chemical exposures-the very same chemicals that are slowly killing us all. Each person is different, sixty percent of the population may never get prostate cancer, but may die of another dastardly illness.

Approximately 80,000 + chemicals, contribute to our industrialized life styles; from foods that won’t spoil, to carpets that won’t stain, to pants that won’t wrinkle; our clothes are made from them, our bodies are bathed in them, we work in them, sleep in them, eat them, drink them, breathe them, and build our homes out of them. My friends, this is what is killing us, making us violent, sterilizing us, depressing us, and just about any other health related affect, from impotence to head-aches to cancer.

I became ill from working in an enclosed building, with vehicular traffic, and restricted ventilation. It took me a long time to realize what was happening to me; if I had wrecked my truck, committed suicide, acted in violence, or accepted the diagnosis of the psychiatric community; I may never have found out there was a chemical relation. The only thing that saved me, was the extreme nature of physical symptoms, in conjunction with the mental impairment. I also went to work every day, and refused to give ammunition to my employer, with which to terminate me. This forced them to acknowledge that there was something wrong with me, and salvaged my health insurance long enough to get a diagnosis; but to this day, there is not any acknowledgment of chemical exposure in the work place, and most likely they are still harming others. I was fired when they found out what was wrong with me, and my health insurance was cancelled. Go figure! Disability is still impossible, Most Lawyers are worthless, and I can not work in any normal capacity or environment because of the toxic and neuro-toxic chemicals including the chemicals in perfumed personal products.

I am running out of my life’s savings, and exhausting every avenue of disability. My only option left, seems to be civil disobedience (even that is very difficult to orchestrate); if things don’t change soon, I may end up in the public media for some act or another. I have considered abandoning my vehicle in traffic, or on bridges, but I am sure they would just tow it, and ignore the message. Most in the MCS world suffer this same appalling treatment due to a lack of recognition of this ever increasing global health problem.

I have a few ideas that will exhaust the resources of a desperate individual, and be impossible to ignore. One thing I do know, is that, I will not expose myself to chemicals, I am not going to just "get over it", and the person who takes my "sanctuary" away from me, better hope I am having a good day, and be willing to take it by force; because there is not much worse in life, than being constantly and slowly poisoned. I am getting real tired of being tortured, being nice, and most of all being ignored. I am getting real tired of being on the defensive, tired of answering stupid questions, writing letters, explaining myself, and being treated like a second class citizen, or a mental case. There is nothing quite like being interrogated by lawyers, and public officials, defending your character at every turn, responding to certified mail, being fired from work; all by people who are poisoning themselves, and just don’t know it. One out of every three will get cancer, 40 percent are taking drugs to combat health problems, and the guy that delivers the certified mail, is at an increased risk of going postal himself. Yet I am the one on the defensive, how ironic! I am going to go on the offensive, and ask my own questions.

Why are so many people sick?

Why are so many people getting cancer?

Where are all these new unexplained syndromes, disorders, and ailments coming from?

Why is 40 percent of the population hopped up on prescription drugs?

Why is the sterility rate, so high?

Why is our health care system in crisis?

How many chemicals do we breathe, inhale, and ingest every day?

How do they interact with each other? How do they act on individuals?

Exactly, how does the brain respond to chemicals?

AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL - WHAT IS MULTIPLE CHEMICAL SENSITIVITY?

Hint: answer the last one and you most likely will answer the rest of them.

If you think you are the one that is immune, if you have the Gambler’s Logic; I wish you luck, you are going to need it; if cancer doesn’t get you, impotency, sterility, asthma, depression and other mood/behaviour anomalies, migraines, or some other syndrome, most certainly will distort your life, or threaten your well being. If you get the neurological disorder, called "Multiple Chemical Sensitivity" you will certainly find out for yourself, how many chemicals are out there, and know the damage they do, first hand. Good luck, and don’t say we didn’t warn you.

For those of us in the MCS global community, who take the attitude "maybe someone else will do it" or are constantly asking for a voice to be heard ; nobody is going to help us unless we help ourselves-and flat out refuse to be ignored. Doing a little, is better than nothing at all-even a distorted message, a brief summery of some personal experience; I have seen some people write "please help me" and little more. Even if you describe one aspect of your life, miss-spell every word, and scramble your thoughts uncontrollably-someone will hear you, and that is the point.

They need to know our guts hurt, they need to hear about our bowel movements, menstrual cycles, and mood swings; they need to know that I squat to pee; because the cabinets are in my face when I kneel, and my joints often hurt, and my aim is poor when I stand. They need to know that; If I pee on the floor, I will have to put my face next to the cabinets while cleaning it up (and why this makes me sick). They need to hear about projectile DIARRHOEA, and the time you kicked the dog in anger. They need to know our sex lives are ruined (can’t get it up, it won’t stay up, it won’t stay down, loss of sensation, yeast infections, etc. They need to hear about the time you wrecked your car, lost your job, stubbed your toe, or forgot your pin number at the grocery store.

We need to do something besides telling people "we don’t like the stinky stuff"- and pull this monster out into the light, where it can be dealt with. Give your stories to this website (even if you are not comfortable with the down and dirty); let people know the true nightmare chemicals can unleash - Get your story out there, even if you are one of those people who can only say "please help me" ; those three words send a powerful message. Here is your voice-give Diana Buckland, the owner of this website and all the others who are already linked to this website and the hundreds who will be linked in the future - who are fighting the same battle for recognition of MCS and other chemically induced illnesses, diseases and injury, something to work with. I don’t like exposing my private life any better than you do (probably less as I am an intensely shy and private person - but this Global Recognition Campaign is trying to help us all).

Ask yourself what modesty you have; when you can’t leave your house anymore. Maybe there is a woman out there who stands up to pee, because the chlorine bothers her, or someone who has to wear adult diapers, or someone who has wet the bed as an adult. We need to hear from you . Give your story, or even a few words, and let us be heard by the people who count the most. Do you drool on your pillows, take food out of the boxes, read the mail outside, live without air conditioning or heat, stay up all night, sleep all day, thoughts of suicide, violent behavior, sleep on your back only, have to keep a fan running at all times, when you sit.

You are not alone! Stand up and be counted; Diana is doing more than her part, to try and help us; but she needs something to work with. Seems like James is the only one with MCS out there unless we get flooded with "your stories" - please help me, help us all and help yourselves - that’s why Diana composed this website with all the diversified data from many excellent sources, websites, organisations and individuals who are fighting this battle too.

Eddy Caple

Florida USA